On Saturday on the way up to Bellingham, the ride went from great to chaos in a matter of minutes. Things were good when the DVD was working and Julia was sleeping. But the DVD stopped working, and then as the kids got bored, they eventually woke up Julia. I was very angry at this point and I let the girls know of my displeasure. But it didn't really matter. Bradyn was in and out of her straps, playing with the DVD player, and disobeying daddy, which only increased my frustration and anger, which I let them know again very clearly. I kept Julia at bay with cereal, and eventually Bradyn fell asleep. When the cereal serum eventually wore off, and Julia decided she had enough being in the car. She started crying, and eventually woke up Bradyn who started crying, which led to Kamryn crying and daddy really felt like crying. I decided that it was a good time for a break, and pulled off at Krispy Kreme in Burlington. As I went back to talk with the girls, Kamryn started crying saying, "Daddy, I am so sorry. Sometimes, I think God is so angry with me, that he is going to send a wasp down through the windshield and sting me."
I amnot sure if she was just trying to get me to feel bad so I wouldn't discipline her, but I felt really bad, because I know that she interpreted my anger, which wasn't good, with how God felt about her which is good. As I look back, I realize how much of my kids perception of a good, holy, loving, forgiving God is based on my example, right or wrong. I pulled her aside today, Monday, to talk with her about this, trying to help her understand the difference between an imperfect daddy and a perfect God who loves her very much. As I cuddled her close in, I asked her if she understood what I was talking about. A smile breaks across her face and she said, "Daddy, you have blood on your chin." And then she got off and ran to the house for dinner.
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